De Cipher
by Awesomenesss-sama
Summary: Get it? I made a funny with the title! Anyways, Dipper has a secret admirer who keeps giving him presents. Said secret admirer finally decides to reveal his identity with a little game. (Sequel to Not So Bad Nightmares, prequel to Early Days)


"Dipper~!" I heard Mabel chirp as she skipped up the stairs, "I found another one~!"

I groaned and facepalmed. For the past few weeks someone has been sneaking into the Mystery Shack and leaving gift-wrapped presents around the place for me. Just for me. No one even knows how they get in, Grunkle Stan, Mabel and I have done a stakeout more than once -Grunkle Stan was worried they might start stealing from us- and we haven't seen anyone. Mabel called them my secret admirer, and it certainly seemed like the mystery ghost/ninja/master of disguise WAS my mystery admirer when the presents went from mythology books to heart-shaped boxes of chocolates -somehow my admirer knew exactly what I liked and didn't like- and oddly funny love-letters.

"What is it this time?" I asked, closing the mythology book I had been reading -the admirer had helpfully marked what was real and what wasn't- and looking at the golden wrapped present.

Mabel took this as permission for her to open it and she carefully pulled off the wrapping -sometimes there were letters to me on the inside- before frowning in confusion.

"What?" I asked, standing up.

"It's just an empty book" Mabel held out the book for me to see.

I frowned too and opened to a random page. Nothing. Empty.

Mabel went to my bedside table and grabbed the dark light before handing it to me.

"Thanks" I nodded, switching it on and flipping through the book's pages again. This time there were results; at the very back of the book, the admirer had written something in invisible ink:

CHECK THE WRAPPING PAPER

"Hey Mabes?" I looked to my twin, "do you happen to have the wrapping paper from the other presents?"

"Well you're lucky you asked today, because I planned to reuse it for an art project this weekend" Mabel smiled, rummaging under her bed before pulling out a pile of golden paper.

I took them and shone the dark light onto one. It had a simple addition equation on it. The others had similar results.

"Looks like I've got some math homework to do" I groaned, dragging a hand down my face.

I started by writing all the problems down in the book I had been given and solving them, then I noticed that not even one of the numbers went over twenty-five, which means that they were probably letters. So I spent the majority of the night swapping the numbers for letters.

"I don't get it" Mabel scratched her head, "wkh looxplqdwl oryhv brx?"

I didn't even bother trying to question how Mabel managed to pronounce that, "it's a code. There's one more stage; the one that turns it into a proper sentence."

"Then why don't you do it?" Mabel asked.

"There are a lot of different keys it could be. I have no idea how to find the right one" I shrugged.

"Well it's late. Let's go to sleep and work on the rest tomorrow" Mabel suggested as she climbed into her bed.

I nodded in agreement and went to take a shower.

Once I had finished I went back to my room, and I was about to climb into bed when I noticed a golden wrapped present. It was rare for me to get two presents in a day. I considered telling Mabel, but when I looked to my twin's bed I saw that she was fast asleep.

I pulled off the wrapping and shone the dark light on it.

THIS WILL HELP

I looked at the box and realized it was a Caesar Shift; something that was used to make and decode simple ciphers.

Now that I had a lead, how could I sleep? It was all right there, so why not get it done tonight?

With that, I grinned and turned on my bedside light before pulling out all the stuff I had put away not even moments ago.

"This is it!" I cheered a little while later, I had found out which shift the code was.

"Huh?" Mabel rubbed her eyes and looked at me, confused.

"Oh, sorry I woke you" I rubbed the back of my head sheepishly, "I found another present after my shower; a Caesar Shift."

"What's a Caesar Shift?" Mabel wondered.

"Here" I handed her the shift.

"And you can turn the thingies?" Mabel asked me, not wanting to ruin me discovery be fiddling with it.

"Yep" I nodded, "and now that I've found which shift this message is, I can finish decoding it tonight.

"Are you sure you don't want to get some sleep first?" Mabel checked the alarm clock, "its past midnight."

"I'd never be able to sleep knowing that I'm so close" I replied, taking back the shift and starting to swap the letters.

"I guess you're right" Mabel agreed, fixing herself so she could lean back against the wall next to her bed.

Half an hour later, I had finished decoding it.

"What does it say?" Mabel asked, leaning forward and rubbing her eyes; she was in the middle of falling asleep when I had done my victory cheer.

I looked at my page and frowned, "'the illuminati loves you'."

"Isn't the illuminati like a cult or something?" Mabel wondered.

"I dunno, I never really bothered to check it out before" I said.

Mabel pulled out her phone and went to Google Images to search 'illuminati' (she never liked searching with the regular search. 'Pictures are more interesting'.), "here." She handed me her phone as the page loaded.

I blinked in disbelief when the first row of pictures finished loading.

"What?" Mabel asked.

I watched as even more pictures loaded and chuckled at a picture of a Dorito with an eye on it, deciding to tap the picture to make it bigger before handing it to Mabel, "I think I know who my 'secret admirer' is."

Mabel saw the picture and instantly came to the same conclusion as me, "so your favourite Dorito chip has a crush on you?"

"Lucky me" I chuckled, "we know it's you, Bill."

" _I'm insulted to be compared to a chip"_ Bill pouted as the room turned grey.

"No you're not" Mabel giggled.

" _So I overheard something about me being Pine Tree's_ _ **favourite**_ _Dorito chip?"_ Bill grinned…somehow.

"Don't pretend you didn't know" I rolled my eyes.

" _But I didn't"_ Bill shrugged, _"being an all-knowing creature can be boring sometimes, seeing into the future and being able to read people's thoughts takes all the surprise out of it."_

"Well now you know" I laughed.

"I'll just leave now" Mabel said, lying down on her bed and falling asleep, which is how you leave the dreamscape.

" _So…?"_ Bill turned to me.

"What?" I asked, pretending to not notice his anticipation.

" _How did you like your presents?"_ Bill questioned.

"I burned them" I said nonchalantly.

" _WHAT?!"_ Bill shrieked, obviously he never hung around to see my reactions.

"Just kidding, I loved them" I grinned.

" _You-"_ Bill facepalmed.

"Gotcha" I smirked.

" _Yes, yes you did"_ Bill laughed a little too.


End file.
